Bitter and Twisted

On occasion I have found myself to be inadvertently caught up in minor feuds involving at least one party who could be described as, lets say, bitter and twisted. There is a good chance there are more such parties, but to be honest I try to stay out of it, backing away quickly without any further investigation than is required simply to clear my name, if that maybe necessary. Alas, you do not get to pick your family, nor necessarily your friends either, but then loyalty spells longevity. It is greatly unfortunate that because I am neither naturally conniving nor manipulative, I do not function at all well in the worlds of those who are, and who thrive within this cesspit of society. I have a natural aversion towards lying and tend to lay my cards on the table, I do not actually wish to offend anybody and never set out to do so, even if they are entirely worthy of it. So, when I am caught up in any such simmering scenario that looks likey to manifest itself as a feud, arguements or simple animosity, I am often made a scapegoat, and before escape, on one particular occasion have been tarnished as bitter and twisted myself, in hindsight, and in my view, by the very element(s) I consider now to be the bitter and the twisted. Now, I am a worrier, I believe that it is this that allows me to be the person I am, a good person. So, as I do when I am made out to be something by somebody or something else, something that deep down I know I am not, I will still allow a period whereby I will torture myself by way of thinking that perhaps I am such, this in turn will give way to a period of deep analysis, both of self and of the scenario in which I am, to an extent, accused. With regards bitter and twisted, if I were judged to be bitter and twisted, and had acted in such a way, then to be thought of, or accused as bitter and twisted, I would consider to be fair enough, I would take it on the chin and feel as though I had been deservedly judged and would try my best to make amends. However, with further thinking, if I were indeed bitter and twisted, then it is unlikely that I would take this position. A bitter and twisted soul would surely not accept the verdict, but instead turn it around upon the accusing element or even an entirely innocent party inadvertently caught up in the matter. I must therefore conclude that I am not in fact bitter and twisted; it must in fact be my accuser(s)! And on that basis, I have not accepted the verdict of another, but instead turned it back on them, they could also be entirely innocent in all of this, which begs further thinking, am I therefore in fact bitter and twisted, and therein lays a paradox. Let’s be practical about this however, both God and I know that it is not me with secrets and lies; indeed, I am without motive, intention or agenda, I want nothing to do with it and nothing from anyone, I want damage limitation all round, for everybody, I just want out.