Know It All Do You?

There's nothing worse than a know it all. If they did know it all, then they wouldn't be one, there'd be no talking over, butting in, interrupting, showing off and belittling. They'd shut the fuck up and actually listen once in a while.

The Church of Eddie Stobart

There is a new build Church just outside the small west Cumbrian market town of Wigton, I went there once, with my then girlfriend and her family, her family were local to the area at the time. They were practising Christians and regulars at the Church, they were well respected within its community, and despite the father being virtually illiterate, or at least incomprehensible, he was given the honour of doing regular readings. Him being devout in every way of course, other than selling insurance and getting a young girl, the same age as his daughter up the duff before abandoning her. The poor girl in question had helped in the mother’s shop whilst the family had a stint at living in Peterborough, the family sold up and moved back to west Cumbria soon after. The daughter, and my girlfriend of the time, was the polar opposite of her father, she was far from devout in anything, other than the none practice of sex, in the latter, most unfortunately for me, she was verging on fundamentalism, in the former, dangerous, damn right dangerous, I never did trust her. Her brother was gay, but alas poor lad, was shackled by his good Christian upbringing. The mother, well, she had a slyness I could never quite put my finger on, on occasions it felt belittling to be in her company, but an excellent cook and wonderful smile none the less; I was sure that was semen down her blouse after she had collected the father from the station one evening, upon his return from a business trip, maybe she preferred to avoid full intercourse, like her daughter, it was the most I would ever get out of her. The Church had a relatively large but rural catchment area; the congregation was therefore also quite large once concentrated. The original Eddie Stobart, Eddie senior, was there on the morning that I went with the family, he was being honoured with a water colour on behalf of the congregation, on account of him paying a quarter of a million pounds for the building of the Church. There was some unashamed arse kissing going on that day, I can tell you, the water colour however, looked like it had been picked up in a charity shop and would be heading back to one. During the course of the service, all about wisdom, love and forgiveness, I noticed that there were some less than friendly glances going from one side of the aisle to the other, not to mention a far from devine atmosphere, but it wasn’t until the service had finished, and the mingling social of departing commenced, that it became apparent that the Church was segregated, completely split in two, like the parting of the Red Sea. I made some enquiries from the family. Indeed, there had been a colossus falling out between the members of the parish, it was of course to do with power and money; the distribution of church raffle funds and other such fund raising issues, and the best candidate to take the helm of the headless Sunday School for the kids, on account that a deeply strange and overly nice young couple were planning to elope. There was no disguising the lust that the male half of this couple was radiating towards my then girlfriend, and no disguising the lust radiating towards him from his young fiancée, and every other badly groomed adolescent girl in the place. If their plan was not to emigrate to a ranch in a desert of North America and form a ‘community,’ and that well spoken marra has not done so since, then he hath missed his calling. Anyway, between the sexualised undertones, the rift and the hypocrisy, I was beginning to struggle to breath, and my smile was beginning to hurt my face as I was being introduced to some plastic programmed, almost zombie like people, with their big smiles and over friendliness. I got out quickly, marching into the car park and a bright and fresh sunny morning, the birds were singing and the leaves rustling on the trees, I felt immediately cleansed. My conclusion; that the human element in religion is the reason for its existence, and yet religion in turn seems to do nothing more than amplify the flaws of humans, whether from the very large scale, right to the very small. For me, it is a hindrance in the pilgrimage towards goodness, and so I carve my own relationship with God.

Perhaps

Perhaps God has not abandoned nor forsaken us; God has given us life, life with free will and free reign. The fall out of our many difficulties may seem entirely unjust, but the worst of such difficulties are also often of our own making, and surely should not be blamed on God's lack of intervention, just as they should not be undertaken in the name of God. Had God not given us the free will just to get on with it, despite the efforts of religions not to let us, there would only be a fraction of what we have to gain, perhaps we therefore only have ourselves to blame. However, those man-made injustices that breach innocence; and those that are not man-made, they seem a tall price to pay for freedom of reign, and seemingly at random too. Perhaps therefore, mankind is a life form pushing forward as one, surviving through numbers, and surviving through the fittest of those numbers, like all life along side us. The greater the numbers, the more chances there are of at least some success, but alas, with that, and it would seem somewhat unjustly, a lot of individual cases come to nothing. The primary example of this is to take life at its very beginnings and to fertilisation. So too can it be considered on a galactic and subsequently planetary level, I wonder how many planets have died for every Earth that lives. Perhaps life must be cruel to be kind and yet be without concept of either. Therein, it may not be all about us; it may not even be possible for it to be all about us. Merely sewing the seed of the bang may have taken God to the very limits of possibility, maybe that alone is enough and the rest is down to chance, an infinite number of chances within ifinity, and for that to have in turn grown into something so astoundingly complex and beautiful, and to continue to do so, maybe that alone is enough. What there is, may not yet be perfect, but perhaps it is not yet finished, and in the meantime, everything coming into existence must play its part. Perhaps there have been many more injustices than there are now, just to get us here, and perhaps there will be far fewer as we move towards where we are going, perhaps the worst and the best are yet to come, perhaps, perhaps.

Religion

Man made to meet man's needs.

Bitter and Twisted

On occasion I have found myself to be inadvertently caught up in minor feuds involving at least one party who could be described as, lets say, bitter and twisted. There is a good chance there are more such parties, but to be honest I try to stay out of it, backing away quickly without any further investigation than is required simply to clear my name, if that maybe necessary. Alas, you do not get to pick your family, nor necessarily your friends either, but then loyalty spells longevity. It is greatly unfortunate that because I am neither naturally conniving nor manipulative, I do not function at all well in the worlds of those who are, and who thrive within this cesspit of society. I have a natural aversion towards lying and tend to lay my cards on the table, I do not actually wish to offend anybody and never set out to do so, even if they are entirely worthy of it. So, when I am caught up in any such simmering scenario that looks likey to manifest itself as a feud, arguements or simple animosity, I am often made a scapegoat, and before escape, on one particular occasion have been tarnished as bitter and twisted myself, in hindsight, and in my view, by the very element(s) I consider now to be the bitter and the twisted. Now, I am a worrier, I believe that it is this that allows me to be the person I am, a good person. So, as I do when I am made out to be something by somebody or something else, something that deep down I know I am not, I will still allow a period whereby I will torture myself by way of thinking that perhaps I am such, this in turn will give way to a period of deep analysis, both of self and of the scenario in which I am, to an extent, accused. With regards bitter and twisted, if I were judged to be bitter and twisted, and had acted in such a way, then to be thought of, or accused as bitter and twisted, I would consider to be fair enough, I would take it on the chin and feel as though I had been deservedly judged and would try my best to make amends. However, with further thinking, if I were indeed bitter and twisted, then it is unlikely that I would take this position. A bitter and twisted soul would surely not accept the verdict, but instead turn it around upon the accusing element or even an entirely innocent party inadvertently caught up in the matter. I must therefore conclude that I am not in fact bitter and twisted; it must in fact be my accuser(s)! And on that basis, I have not accepted the verdict of another, but instead turned it back on them, they could also be entirely innocent in all of this, which begs further thinking, am I therefore in fact bitter and twisted, and therein lays a paradox. Let’s be practical about this however, both God and I know that it is not me with secrets and lies; indeed, I am without motive, intention or agenda, I want nothing to do with it and nothing from anyone, I want damage limitation all round, for everybody, I just want out.

Sugar Daddy

We’ve all witnessed the prosperous ageing man, probably with ex-wives and a family in the wake of time behind him, arm in arm with a beautiful, and much younger women, both dripping with cash and at play in some sophisticated playground. A few years ago now, I thought about this situation. It would be easy to conclude that the younger woman is actually dating the lifestyle and the bank balance over the man, however, in order to achieve this, she must also be with the man - there is no escaping this. One might then conclude that the young lady is to a degree, prostituting herself in order to achieve a more luxurious and lavish lifestyle, maybe even with ambitions of long-term security. This may or may not be true in each different case, but to believe this across the board, as is often what happens, would in my submission underestimate the complexities of a woman. Whilst I would agree that there is more opportunity for such a man to meet such a woman, both putting themselves out within rather similar and certainly exclusive circles, and have little doubt that the man’s money and it’s possibilities play a fundamental role in the woman’s initial attraction, there could be varying degrees of ambition, intelligence, independence, motives and indeed bank balances that may in turn be held by the woman, and which remain hidden, on occasions from the man in question, but always from the prying public, unless of course it is already in the public eye. Influence and power can also be strong assets for the courting older man, or indeed towards making him a target to be courted, although, such assets often go hand in hand with money. Fame, as a standalone, I would say is less so of an asset, certainly in cases where we are considering some longevity, unless of course accompanied by one or all of the aforementioned. What I have observed, is that when the relationship has formed and the couple are within one another’s sole company, the young lady more often than not looks happy. Now this maybe because they are in the excitement of the early throws of adventure, made possible by the man, whose happiness needs to be maintained. No doubt assisted by the fur and cashmere, the Christian Louboutin, the Mulberry and the Dior, but fundamentally and humanly happy to the core. It is only after the young woman becomes a married older woman or longstanding mistress that the cracks can set in, if love has failed to blossom, lifestyle aside, she will realise that as a couple, the two people are worlds apart, which can breed bitterness and resentment at what might have been elsewhere, (love and happiness), and thus, regret and unhappiness, leading to, let’s hope, another cycle. However, it is the throws of the early non marital relationship of the older man and the younger woman that interests me. The relationship must inevitably be sexual, and whereby the young lady may be somewhat repulsed at the prospect, the motive behind this somewhat frowned upon set up, is such that any aversions are swiftly overcome. I would believe that this has to be the case across the board, thus, including those women that may not be fundamentally motivated by financial gain. Those young women that go on to form a relationship, and most do, will surely be copulating regularly thereafter, as is the case when all sexually active couples are within their early throws. It is only upon becoming an unhappy wife or long standing mistress that there would be less sex. The happy younger lady who remains on the hairy Rolex clad arm, I would suggest has found something she likes about the man alone. It may be that in normal circumstances such a beautiful young lady would not find herself naked with a far older and much less beautiful man, and yet through the motives discussed, she has. Thereafter, it may be that she has discovered something that she would not normally have discovered had such a man been physically the same but average in status. Just maybe, and thanks to the money for getting us here, but putting money out of the equation between the sheets, there is good none financial endowment and young lady is physically satisfied. When the money and/or status are put aside, the debate then is whether the relations constitute prostitution. Possible not, there may be an intellectual and physical connection, however, I believe the answer would of course only present itself if the money and/or status were taken away entirely and forever, and therefore, until this is the case, the couple are in my eyes, innocent until proven guilty. As to whether there are innocent intentions, my view, is that it would not be beyond reasonable doubt that either party could be guilty of this, mutual consent however, is somewhat of a compelling argument and quite capable of overruling any judgement, if you ever found the proof to begin with that is.