A Wealth on Mental Health

I feel compelled to write this on account of how misunderstood mental health issues are. I hope that it will be of help to those who suffer, but also to those who do not. My intention is merely to provide information to those who do not suffer, in the hope it might assist them in dealing with those who do. I have not based this upon any medical research whatsoever; it is entirely based upon my own personal experiences. If you dismiss this now in the belief that those who suffer are just pathetic, or need to get things into perspective, then you are the most in need of reading this, but also, I would embrace your good fortune. The first thing to say is that we are all wired up differently, every single brain on the planet is different, no two brains develop in an identical set of conditions and circumstances. Brains are the same as snowflakes in this regard. A brain is molded like plasticine as it grows, but also as it experiences and learns. Sometimes brains are the subject of chemicular imbalances, injury and illnesses, or fail to make particular connections from one side to the other. Sometimes, brains can over think matters, torturing their bearer with too much ‘air’ time. There is nothing unusual here, indeed the list goes on, and most people will have suffered from at least one such ailment, no doubt regularly. The problem in my case, I believe to be intense and relentless thought, usually over several different issues and building gradually over a sustained period until eventually they become all consuming. I know full well when this is happening; I also know that I am at risk when it does. I guess in the same way you are at risk of a common cold when you stand out in the rain for too long. This is precisely why I avoid conflict and am a terribly upbeat person; such is my defence mechanism against allowing the seep of negativity in, I stay as far away from it as possible. The problem is of course, life is such that from time to time there may be no control over the waves of problems that come into it, when this happens to me, no matter how hard I try, they envelope and begin to breach the defences, like bacteria, entering my thought process like as a virus would the blood. Now, whereas some brains are geared up to cope with this, others are not. I have to say mine isn’t bad, which is why I only become unwell once in a blue moon. I do have a grasp of perspective, I will have already latched on to as many positives as I can find, indeed the battles I have had with a ‘defeatist attitude’ are epic. But eventually, like with any perfect storm, conditions are so relentless and freakishly in sync, that to some, they can become overwhelming. For me, my grasp of perspective can be drowned out by the depth of my thoughts. Normally perspective bobs along the top of thought in harmony, buoyant on the skin of serotonin, but when the weather changes and the seas are rough, perspective can be thrown under, and starts to sink. Different brains succumb at different points, in different conditions and for different reasons, just as some will never succumb. But when a brain does, it is a sickness like any other, but therein lies the problem; those who do not suffer do not see it like that. You wouldn’t tell a person with bronchitis to stop coughing, or a person with the runs to stop shitting. So why tell somebody with depression to pull them self together? Is there a belief they have not tried? Mental illness is so horrendous nobody wants to be there, it is not something you would volunteer for, just as it is not something you can suddenly decide to cure yourself from. Worse still, is that every case is different because every brain is different, not even medical science can clear such a mine field , it can ease the symptoms, but that is all. Let me explain what it’s like for me. I suffer from occasional anxiety and even less occasionally depression, so I’m probably on the spectrum nearest to somebody who doesn’t suffer at all. My anxiety has taken me into crippling panic attacks, but that is another story for another day. Most recently however, I have suffered a bout of what I would consider mild depression, so that is what I will describe. The battle I have to prevent this from happening, which can go on for months, from waking until sleeping, and within sleeping - manifesting in uncomfortable dreaming, can incidentally be won. But if lost, leaves me mentally exhausted, drained and physically tired, which in turn leaves me unable to articulate what exactly is happening and the extent of it. The latter being my subsidiary motive for getting this down in writing. It is frustrating and scary for both those who suffer and those who care. For me it feels like a waking dream in which you cannot run away from what’s in pursuit, and you cannot make a sound to scream for help. I endeavour to sleep it off and reboot; I self medicate, and always get up in the mornings. I just keep going as best I can in the knowledge that time will take care of the rest and good times will prevail. It takes understanding, patience, quiet and empathy from those around. With me, its best not to try and argue perspective, it will have been exhausted already, believe me. It’s also best not to presume that the person suffering is anything like you, we all have different brains, different make ups and different thresholds remember, neither party would be suffering if you were the same. Anger and blame are understandable emotions from people who are close, but don’t assist. Love and kindness however, they never go amiss.