V Day Story

Valentine’s Day 2014 and I’m meeting my fiancée in town after work, I’ve got tickets to see the Nutcracker, a big bunch of flowers and the biggest card I could find, easily the best part of an A3. I finished up early so took the Met from Bury into central Manchester with a view to having a few beers in the Weatherspoon’s around the corner from Sam’s work. I managed to get myself a table and plonked myself up there, unconsciously spreading my flowers and card across it. Having supped three pints and being well on through my wait for Sam, I noticed quite a lot of disturbance at a nearby table; they looked like young professional types, probably just having met on a career development course and, given an early finish, decided to go to the pub. The girls were attractive, so I did find myself looking over from time to time, and certainly more than could have been deemed innocent people watching. I soon clocked the fact that I was clearly one of their topics of conversation. They obviously thought I looked handsome and were daring one of the girls to come and chat me up, there was certainly a lot of smiling and giggling in my direction. Eventually, the tidiest of the girls approached, she began talking to me, finding out about me and being very friendly and nice, I was in, perhaps I still had it. I was completely oblivious to the garish red card and flowers set out in front of me; pulling out a whole holdall of charm on her pretty little arse. Eventually, when the devil flashed across my mind, she asked me if I had been stood up! I explained that I hadn’t, I was waiting for my fiancée to finish work, that she’d be here any minute, and so, if she wanted my number she’d better hurry up and take out her phone. She laughed, exclaiming that they’d thought I’d been stood up was all, I looked across and they were all grinning in my direction. The nosey bastards, I’d been duped; they thought I was a loser and it hadn’t even dawned on me that I might look like one, even become one. So I guess the moral of the story is, if you’re out on a Valentine’s date and you’ve got a bit of a wait, either hide away your paraphernalia, or get there on time, oh, and keep your libido in check.