Cycle of Neglect

If that's how you're brought up, that's how you bring up, and each generation getting a little bit worse.

Perspective Over Possession

6:30am this morning, 'Daddy, why do we all die?' Nothing like a reminder of you're own mortality to make you a better person, isn't that right any power hungry people!

The Key

Developing missiles is futile, developing minds is key.

Spiritual Retardation

Power hungry people, on the whole, still have a very long way to go.

Annie Aged 3

My heart is beating really fast, it's because I'm falling in love with you.

Police Van Rave

Living in a converted ex-industrial mill surrounded by mostly empty ex-industrial mills in the heart of Manchester’s canal basin certainly had its advantages. New Year for instance, New Year was a very good time to live within the immidiate proximity of a host of vast mostly empty crumbling buildings with their underground networks, hidden rooms, thick cool walls and unnatural darkness - a clubber’s paradise in the right hands. Jose was such a hand, or at least his right hand man was. Jose was the son of a Brazilian wood magnet. The magnet himself remained in Brazil whilst his boy learnt the ropes in Manchester, overseeing movements from a nineteenth century red brick industrial unit, vastly oversized for the business, complete with its own sweat shop on top. The problem was, his drug habit, well it was for him anyway, but it worked to the advantage of some of those who worked for him, provided they kept things ship shape and ran things properly. Daddy need never know if the books were good and the clients happy. Clever boys indeed, keeping Jose alive, and the business too. Everyone got what they wanted, even the old boy overseas, despite his ignorance. Perhaps he knew, maybe there were favoured sons doing well closer to home whilst Jose was kept out of the way. This could be down to his extreme drug use, or maybe it caused it. Who the fuck knows? What I do know is that those boys threw a party. Their one and only risk of the year; the hugest most spectacular underground illegal rave known to man, well certainly the post Hacienda generation of Manchester man. I’d been attending these parties over the years, watching their hosts learn and evolve year on year. I even got sucked to death by a beautiful Goth claiming to be a vampire on the first year. This was to be their final year however. I took the girl I would later marry, the mother of my child. It was not her scene, at all. This is a girl who took a sip of a mushroom shake in Thailand and became catatonic for days, a crumb oh hash cake alone put her to sleep for twelve hours. She learnt early that recreational drugs were not for her, neither were raves; pop and peeve, that’s our Sam. She must have really loved me following me into that! Not that much though, oh no, I reckon within an hour I was being dragged up and out of the guts of it and into the cooler corridors towards the surface. There was no-one around really as we neared street level and came up upon and through a delivery bay and out onto the road. There we hit traffic, under the amber glow of flickering street lights, three long wheel based Maria vans sat still and silent in the cold air like some kind of memorial to troubled times. A light snow fall disclosed the fact that they hadn’t been there long, the dry borders along their undersides was as defined as a citadel division. Without thinking I’d already started peeing all over the back door of the nearest van in some drug fuelled act of deluded defiance. It was early days in my relationship with Sam; I had a lot to learn. As the clock struck twelve and I progressed into the rapid eye movement of pissing, the van doors swung open and twelve riot police looked down upon me weeing on their step, my mouth open, left arm swinging, vacant as a monkey. Sam grabbed my shoulder and pulled me backwards still urinating. The boys in blue went straight through us like storm troopers, like we weren’t even there, marching as one to raid the rave. They had bigger fish to fry. She dumped me for the first time on New Year’s Day that year.

The Art of Children

Ten minute walk with Annie, we covered Jason Bourne, birth, life, death, pre-birth, post death, blood pressure, meeting the right person and love. The stand out quote; 'Well who will mummy marry, because we are married and I love you, you can only marry one person?'

Like Father Like Daughter

Daddy, why does your heart beat, and why does it keep beating? What's in your finger? What's in your stomach? What goes into your stomach? What comes out? What are the tubes called? What's in your eyebrow? What's in your forehead? What does your brain do? Where does the air go? Why?

Deja Vu

Is it that deja vu is more than just the result of a random or predictive dream of what coincidentally may or may not be our future, or similar such scenario? Could it be more than just confirmation that you are on the right path at the right time? Could it be that perhaps you have actually been there before and the familiarity of the situation triggers the feeling? Perhaps we are living a life in circles, round and round again until we get it cracked? Or perhaps our more unusual dreams and feelings of vivid familiarity are the product of a link between ourselves here and ourselves across multiple dimensions in similar but varying circumstances, and that these feelings come from living in, or being linked to lives that have lived through such scenarios elsewhere before, or, at that very moment. Or perhaps the cause is not nearly as far out, perhaps the feelings come from a clairvoyant link we have with our fellow man right here, right now, we dream each other's dreams, and recognise what others have already seen.

My Final Words on Human Devolution

Human evolution should have reached a utopian plateau by now, instead we spend billions on totally unnecessary nuclear armament as those who profit administer their control by prohibition and oppression of what should be our natural progression by pedalling paranoia and catering for brain inactivity through television and supermarkets. Like animals in a zoo we just do what we gotta do and get fed, life becomes easy, and if we don't use it, we lose it - therein lies devolution.